Darren’s Diary – Kicking The Habit (Day 8) – Tuesday, 27th February

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I can’t believe it’s a week!  I just typed Day 8 and even I had to pinch myself!  It’s only a small figure compared to chats I’ve had with people off them years.  But it’s not just that it’s Day 8.  It’s that I genuinely haven’t cheated.

Any attempts before always fell from the odd one here or there.  Ah sure, this one won’t do any harm and so forth.  I did ‘officially’ quit for a month many years ago.  But now that we are having the act of confession, I think I smoked three packets during that month.  It’s funny how how easily kid ourselves.

It’s a case with all addictions I suppose.  Everyone gets to a stage where they think they can’t do any harm with a ‘treat.’  One here, one there – it’s all good!  But you might think you’re fooling others but you’re only fooling yourself.

Today was funny!  I haven’t wanted a cigarette, never thought about going downstairs for one.  It wasn’t an option anyway as I’d have to go out and buy some first.  But every now and again in the back of my mind, a little voice was going ‘Oh I’d love to have just one.’

Everybody who has remembered when they first smoked.   Well after they got over the initial stages of nearly choking.  That little rush and you think this isn’t the worst thing in the world.  But then you have another and another and realise you’ve spiralled back into the habit.

My best comparison is Pints of Guinness.  I love my Guinness and if I had absolutely nothing on the following day, going on the batter with the black stuff would be as good an evening as any.

The first Pint of Guinness after abstaining for a long time is one of the sweetest tastes I can imagine.  You savour it for as long as possible and enjoy seeing the glass gradually empty in front of your eyes.

Any pub that serves a good pint brings you to a happy place and all is great in the world.  The second continues the ecstasy.  You’re relaxing, you’re in great form and you can’t imagine there being a better way to live life at that particular time.

And then you have the third one!  You’re past that point where it doesn’t matter and the night is just going to take over itself and you’ll enjoy the ride.  For me, I’ll probably still have a great night but I won’t enjoy it in the morning.

The difference is for most, when you get up in the morning, that’s the Guinness ended until the next scheduled night out.  But when its cigarettes, it’s just too easy turn back and all is lost again.

I’m glad I’m not smoking and I’m feeling very good.  Am having some side effects I’m guessing and there’ll be more to come.  The weird one at present is I’m feeling tired when I sit down but I’ve a bundle of energy when I get up.  I have to focus when working but I’m restless to do something else.

It felt strange as I had to fill pages for the newspapers today and put articles together for Galway Daily.  Normally, most of this is done by Monday but it is the All-Ireland week so the normal rules don’t apply.

I got all my work done but I also found time to clean my bathroom.  The women in my life will be very happy with the results as anyone who knows me knows that’s one job I hate.  Has to be done but doesn’t mean I have to like it.

We’re all monitoring ‘Storm Emma’ and the ‘Beast From the East’.  Now that’s a musical if ever I heard one.  A hail shower today and status warnings remain at yellow.  I’m scheduled for Mullingar Thursday but temperatures of –7 degrees where recorded there today so it could be a sit and wait.

Have two quick jobs to do when I finish this and then we’re having a relaxing evening in front of the TV.  No idea what’s on but there are DVDs if required.  Stay safe out there for those forced to travel and hopefully the weather doesn’t turn too bad.  Could be an interesting chat tomorrow 🙂

Darren

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